Fat days suck. They often come as a package deal with our time-of-month, full-moon looneys and forgetting our coffee cards right when we were due for a free coffee stamp. I hear you, sister. But lets not confuse ourselves between a fat day and a day where you might have to go up a size in clothing.

Number one, you're not fat. You're a flustered woman who's being marketed at.

When you enter a store to try on clothing, there are things already in place that are there to encourage you to spend. Let's tick them off our list:

• Loud Music: To make you shop faster.

• A Confusing Store Layout: To keep you in the store longer and make you see more things.

• Strategically Placed Racks Of Clothing: To encourage you to move towards them and shop from the newest, more expensive items.

• A Lack Of Sizes Available: To make you think the items are scarce.

• A Lifestyle Setting: To help inspire you to shop in the moment, thinking you have the lifestyle the store promotes. Just because you purchased a maxi dress, doesn't mean you live that beachy/relaxed lifestyle.

• Sales Staff: That are there to sell you things and possibly pester you into buying more than you need like 'Oh my god, those gemstone jeans are amazing! Are you going out tonight? You totally need a party dress to go with it!' Tiffany.

It's safe to say that by the time you've gotten to the fitting room, you're probably a little flustered, without really knowing why. And then the moment of truth comes when you try on that size 12, because you're always a size 12 and for some un-godly reason- it doesn't fit. Now you look at yourself in that lovely lit fitting room mirror and pick your body to pieces and the shame spiral begins. The diet starts tomorrow, that gym membership card is going to be found, you'll be #blessed and you're going to look fabulous walking down the street in your new jeans once you've lost that extra weight - and while that's all well and good, did you stop to think the brand you're shopping with has a fit model that isn't your body shape and that it's literally not you, it's them?

Their brand makes a smaller size of clothing than the other brands you're used to and you need a different size. Bodies come in all shapes and sizes, my average client ranges between three clothing sizes and you are no exception.

You will no longer always be one size. You can't pick up off the rack, bring it home and expect it to be perfect and make you feel good. Sizing isn't standard and you aren't either, you're an Effortless Bitch, and what do Effortless Bitches do? They work it.

Your cure is this; look at the areas that don't fit. Size up or down and remember that things like sleeve length, shirt length, dress length, pant length and darts are all simple and inexpensive alterations that can take something from meh to marvellous. Don't refrain from buying something you love because you felt that going up a dress size suddenly makes you feel like you're having a fat day, be more excited because you're the smart Effortless Bitch who thought to do so and know that you'll look ten times better in the right fit rather than something too tight or baggy.

And last but not least, remember that only you know the number on the inside of that tag and if you don't want the reminder and it happens to accidentally get cut off at home - so be it. You aren't a size and that number doesn't represent you or how stylish you can be. You are an Effortless Bitch, it's time you realised that.